Thursday, 28 March 2013

What's in a Name

Stupid, but I was laying in bed watching the weather forecast on Tuesday, snow,ice , you get the picture then they showed the weather presenters name Sara Blizzard! How can that be, thought I had a fever or had put ketamine in my tea instead of sweeteners. The old guy who fixes my lawnmower is Mr Green and I had a teacher called Mr Death when I was in primary (Though he used to pronounce it Mr Deeth for some reason). Names are so stupid a chair maker called Mr Pugh  Mr Baker. Tiler, Thatcher, Goldsmith , Butcher. Steward, Farmer , Sheperd , Bridger , Saddler, Fisher, Mariner. Carpenter, ,Weaver,, and thousands more no doubt ..anyway as usual I am rambling.

Where was I ..oh yes the panto , and easter eggs how many should you get? I think one is enough (as long as it is a big one with flakes in and I don’t mean the £1.99 one from Home and Bargain) I  think easter eggs have got out if hand, There was one picture of some spoilt kid buried under them on You Tube. Should be some legal limit, like in China or is that the number of kids you can have..who knows.

Well you can tell there is sod all to report on the panto this week except for some female reporter from the BBC who wants to interview me on Tuesday about the society. Better make sure I’m off the horse tranquilisers by then, only joking don’t take horse tranquilisers at Easter. Wonder if her name is Mrs Riter. Let you know how I got on next week

See You


Friday, 22 March 2013

Snow use moaning about it!

God it’s snowing.This reminds me of years ago when one Saturday we had to put on two matinees and an evening performance and we awoke to a blanket of snow. With amateur shows like ours, weather can make quite a difference to final box office receipts.

You really have to ask yourself if you would be prepared to venture out in a raging blizzard to watch a panto when, as an alternative, you could simply stay at home, dunk your ginger nuts (no pun intended there to our auburn friends) and watch Border Watch New South Wales on Sky Living or something. Incidentally I'll say right now that I really  wouldn’t want to get into argument with our red head community as I live with one “ How do you start an argument with a redhead? Say something...anything !!”

Script is still sitting (virtually that is) on my laptop behind me. I was hoping that writing this blog would spur me into a script writing frenzy but sadly no. Still more important things to do like practice with my new coffee machine, look at the Everton website, look out of the back window, look out of the front window, look at price of theme park tickets, clean the grid and so on and so on. Will get round to it honest and when I do you’ll be the first to know…but keep on breathing !

Right busy day ahead, the front window hasn’t been watched for sometime and I need to find someone to cut my toe nails.

Will be in touch


Sunday, 17 March 2013

Tired and Tearful

Sorry Blog’s late but got a decent excuse as my eldest son got married on Friday. The whole event was emotionally exhausting with me blubbering every time somebody said nice things about him, which was often. Think I will have to consider some serious sedation when my daughter gets married judging by my emotional instability as just the grooms dad!

Anyway I’m not going to go on about the wedding, though in many ways it was like putting on a show…very theatrical. I of course got to dress up in tails etc, only thing I was missing was my panto wig and after seeing some of the early wedding pictures of the light bouncing off my bonce, I think I should have worn it. There was a cast, a script, music, jokes, a prince charming and a fairytale princess. No panto baddies though and there wasn’t a fight at the end I’m afraid. Now it’s all over it does feel the same as after a successful production, relieved but a little bit sad.

We had another Panto committee meeting this week. (know your bursting with excitement now) “Good News” is that our fund raising secretary has arranged for more supermarket bag packs. Joy beyond Joy. People who know me will know how much I enjoy this activity. It is marginally preferable to having your teeth scraped by a dental technician who has a very painful mouth ulcer which she has just bitten.

Promise I won’t be late next week guys.


Friday, 8 March 2013

Over Sized Cotton Buds

How much stuff should you keep? We all have that issue, my basement is full of crap like  an old 1980’s gas fires that would probably send you into a deep sleep if installed.

We have major problems with our panto stuff. We have a storage unit crammed to capacity, current inventory:-

Giant Mousetrap (150cm x 100cm) x 1
Over size Cotton Bud ( 100cm) x 1
Inflatable Octopus (never used) x 1
Large mallet and chisel
Wooden seagulls in UV paint x 2

Etc etc you get the picture. Problem is we hate to throw stuff out and the over size cotton bud joke ( Can’t tell you for decency sake were we stick it) can’t be done every year. Incidentally there are jokes that can be done every year, such as “ When I nod my head you hit it” which when combined with hitting my oppo  on the head with a mallet, seems to always get at least a snigger. ( Note to self: Do not throw away large mallet and chisel) (Further reminder to self: Do not hit oppo with non padded end of mallet this year if possible)

Suppose we will carry on as normal. Good news this year is we will get to do exploding cottage scene. Got into trouble last time as I wanted to use large maroon for the bang ( for you non luvvies a maroon is like a bomb which creates a big bang without killing too many people) When we tested it on stage it created a sound wave that knocked the frothy cream off the cappuccino’s in starbucks and launched the New Brighton Life Boat.. Had to use a medium one in the end.

Got to go now and pen a new scene involving an oversized cotton bud

Speak next week


Friday, 1 March 2013

Lathering Up

I do a lot of my thinking naked. Not in a weird “see that naked bloke in the front room” Rodin (one for art lovers there) sort of way, but in the shower. When you are standing there under the water, it’s great thinking time and I often come up with my best ideas. It’s remembering them afterwards and writing them down where I have the problem as I invariably become sidetracked with something important like cleaning the grid. Anyway I have done sod all on the script this week and probably won’t touch it until I have to, which knowing me will be three days before the first rehearsal. In the meantime, if asked about progress, I’ll reply with my usual “slow, there’s a lot to do”

Went to the pub last night and a bit thick headed so I’ll keep it short and leave you with the thought that if you are reading one of my jokes at rehearsals it may well have been created by me, naked and lathering up.

Going to the football (Everton) with Widow Twankey tomorrow (you don’t hear that sentence often!) You’ll have guessed he’s our panto dame, and not just a dame, only the best dam dame this side of the four bridges (for my American readers these are 4 bridges over the docks in Birkenhead England.)

See You