We Won't Get Fooled Again..oh yes we will!

So the day of our dancing auditions dawns and hopefully we will have lots of hopefuls donning their ballet,dance, jazz shoes or even Doc Martens. I don't give a monkeys what they wear, as you already know I steer well clear of dancing auditions,though I may stride in and try to look important for a few minutes.

More important things for me today as me and my oppo are going to see The Who tonight at the Echo Arena. Bit full circle for me, as I first saw them in Liverpool 40 years ago (yes FORTY !)and having watched Jagger on the box last night it made me sit down again and think about just how long you should go on as a performer. Is it better to look back at videos of shows 20 years ago when we stll had hair (and on our heads too) or do we continue. Do we get better like a fine wine or deteriorate like a rancid greek yoghurt. I certainly don't want to play an ugly sister, in a bathchair, claiming Attendance Allowance and with my carer in attendance. My oppo already has to put makeup on to make himself look less ugly to play this part.

Anyway we will enjoy the concert and I am certain it will be a very mature (that's polite for decrepit) audience who will rock along to Won't Get Fooled Again and other anthems from their youth.

With auditions starting the panto year will now start rolling like a runaway train with me and my fellow production team trying to deal with the many issues that come along on the trip. Like what colour cotton to use on the  tutus, or what meat to put in the batches or what mixer should I have with my vodka. It never ends.

I'll go now as I need to decide what trendy gear to wear for the concert as I am sure that my oppo will make an effort and I saw him eyeing up a nice blue cardy in Moss Bros last week.

Pantobloke

Bubonic Plague

Right, got a cold this week and am suffering. Before you start,you all need to realise that this is not your usual cold. This, obviously, is something far far worse. You see even Mrs Pantobloke doesn't realise that the minor virus that she had last week, which was probably very mild, has now mutated into something far more insidious. I am sure that there is scientific proof that when the microbes, that were probably passed on this very ipad, go from female to male hosts,they grow ten fold. I need intensive nursing and comfort and I am simply not getting it! And it simply is s'not fair.(sorry about that little mucas pun, snot is not fair but greenish grey)

Anyway enough about my suffering (pause for coughing fit and sneeze) One of our cast members appeared in a real musical this week having won a national talent competition to appear in the Rocky Horror Show. Don't name people in my Blog, as you know, but well done Queen Rat.

If I manage to shake off this serious condition, I will give you a panto update next week. Leave you with a little known fact

The term bubonic plague is derived from the Greek word βουβών, meaning "groin." 

Pantobloke

Tchaikovsky or Hawkwind?

The panto year is now gaining pace. Auditions for dancers coming up at end of month and I spent some time creating an advert to go in the local paper. I resisted the temptation to include a picture of me on the advert opting instead for a photo of some dancers from a previous show.

This is because we are not trying to attract 50 odd year old balding men as dancers for the show but young talented local individuals. We could of course introduce a troop of male dancers in my age group but we would then have to pay people to come and see the panto and I'm not sure we could afford it.

We had a meeting with the choreographer this week to discuss the dance numbers and the script. Choosing music is so important. My choices of Hawkwind, Motorhead and Blue Oyster Cult were again dismissed. My fellow production team failing to visualise how good ending the first half with a mass ballet to Ace Of Spades, could be. Never mind.

Script is coming on. I am very protective of the writing at this stage. It is like a baby, needs nurturing and developing but without the projectile vomiting. But we are determined to evolve the show into something special. Shorter, faster, and funnier...bit like me really.

Anyway as year moves on this blog will start to get really exciting and I won't ramble on so much. So keep reading.

Pantobloke

Pain and Pleasure

When I visited Florida for the first time back in 1998 I went on a Disney attraction called ExtraTERRORestrial Alien Encounter,with my 16 year old son. It scared the pants off us. The ride was finally closed for good in 2003 and replaced with something that didn't have fat American kids running to the loo. It was terrifying, truly 4 dimensional. Darkness, noise, escaped Aliens running round the auditorium when you were immobilised in a chair.People were screaming, kids were crying,there was a mass hysteria but most afterwards said they loved it and it was certainly the one Disney ride I remember. Certainly better than It's a Small World,which would certainly benefit by adding Chucky wandering round with a meat cleaver.

Made me think what a fine balance it is between being terrified and being delighted. This years show has a demonic wolf. I can remember playing the part some 20 years ago and growling out my lines to the sound of some small child being traumatised in the third row. Being scared can be great fun as long as you know you are really safe and that everything always ends happily ever after.

Maybe this year we have a darker ending, Red Riding Hood gets eaten, Robin Hood is tried and hanged Mother Hubbard dies of old age and the Sherriff of Nottingham lives happily ever after with his ill gotten gains in a villa in Marbella.

Or maybe not

Pantobloke

So that's were the word Codpiece comes from!

Been getting down to some script work this week. I say work rather than writing because it is a combination of adapting material from previous scripts with new words rather than composing pure script.

Lots of our material is created from larking around during rehearsals. Thats why it is so important to surround yourself with creative people and casting the round pegs in the round holes. Often, if I've been particularly lazy, sketches might not be fully scripted and this creates more work for future shows. 

For instance this year I want to recreate  the ballet sketch we did some some 5 years ago and I was relieved to find that I had actually written down all the stuff that we did previously. The ballet sketch replaced the old school room sketch which was getting a bit tired ("where's yer grammar ? At home with my grandpa") you get the picture.

So I get to wear the duck costume and my oppo has to wear the black leotard,lycra thong and cod piece. It's no use me wearing the lycra, as my legs are too good and it's not as funny, also the codpiece is too small. My oppos' legs on the other hand are god made for comedy. When I say god made, I mean  in a similar way as god made chicken or perhaps emu legs for people's amusement. (He doesn't read the blog regularly so I can say what I like)

Will keep you all informed of progress

Incidentally just looked up codpiece on Wikipedia, and discovered what cod was in middle english. Can't repeat it for decency sake but think cricket, snooker or golf and you'll figure it 

out.

Pantobloke